This is a question that, between my real and online life, I’ve heard many times.
And probably you also did.
The inquiry is not an easy one, but over the time I have found my personal answer:
Is what I would answer playing between my sarcasm and my usual modesty.
But every joke has deep inside a bit of truth and, in this case, I believe that the truth or part of the answer to this question is that I’m too picky.
What does it mean? Or actually… what’s wrong with that?
In my case everything starts with a simple assumption: my partner should represent me.
And this is a big problem.
I’m a very ambitious, I work hard on developing my self, on reaching my goals and on doing my best always. Hence, I’m very strict first of all about my self.
But if we come back to the assumption that I have just mentioned, that means that I would feel like being strict and picky also in terms of selecting my potential partner if this person is supposed to represent me.
Ideally, I would like to find a person that I would feel proud to call “my girlfriend” and to introduce her as such to my friends or to my parents.
I don’t want to annoy you with the description of my ideal girl, because in the end find the right person is not only about filling a sort of identikit related to the physical and personal skills that the person you are dating has. It requires much more aspects like finding the right chemistry, the same vibes and especially a good timing. But as we know, time is a bitch.
Hence, it’s honestly very hard for me to find a person that I could consider my potential “the one”, or because the identikit is not full filled, or because of lack of chemistry or because time likes to bitch out with me.
Also, in my case, “the rule of the 30 seconds” works very well. When I meet a new person, it takes me around 30 seconds to understand if I would consider her like a potential partner or if at least I would give it a try to go further to discover it.
Just a little thing that won’t like and puff, the magic is gone. Because when it comes about feeling the chemistry and the vibe that the other person is transmitting to me I don’t need much time to have a positive or negative impression.
I honestly look for the magic, for the fairy tale. And I don’t think I’m doing wrong. The ocean is full of fishes. If one doesn’t work let’s go for the next one. I believe I can afford to look for a sort of “perfection” until I’m still young no?
Maybe, passed my 35s, I will eventually settle for less.
The result of all of this is in any case that since I have entered the “love game” I was rather playing in single-player mode, than in a team.
But actually, I’m very happy about it.
I really value my single life and my freedom. I love the idea that I can do whatever I want without having to respond for it to anyone except that to myself.
And if you are in the same situation right now you should also value it and make a good use of your single time.
First of all, you need to understand that you don’t need a girlfriend or boyfriend just to don’t feel alone or lonely. For that, you can take a dog.
Besides the fact that I’m very open and friendly I personally enjoy a lot my own company. I have been traveling alone or often I go alone to the restaurants or to the cinema. The point is that you don’t need a partner to do all this stuff. You can perfectly do it alone or with your friends.
Life has a lot to offer and there are some things you can do only while you are single and if you miss this train you might actually regret it one day. Keep your eyes and heart open of course, but in the meanwhile, have fun, go out, travel, experience and do what you want to grow your inner side as a single human being.
Or you can consider it also in another way: if you will get in a relationship just out of loneliness or boredom, you may also miss the chance to meet someone really worth it during that time, simply because while being in that a relationship you will lose your availability for a while.
Love is supposed to make your life better, otherwise is not really love. And a relationship it’s supposed to make you grow as a person and reach something that alone you wouldn’t. Otherwise, it’s pointless.
Dear, I want to repeat it to you once again: to go out, to go for dinners, to go to the cinema, to travel or even to have sex and to do many other things you don’t need to be in a relationship.
If you will live your life fully as a single person, later you will be even more ready to live it with someone else. You will be aware that you have done your experiences, that you got to know yourself and that now you are really ready to abandon your single life to spend it with someone else and that you won’t look at it with any regret.
So well… that’s why I’m single.